I am giving up my fear of people. I give up worrying about what people think. I also forgive those of whom I have held resent for and I forgive myself for resenting them.
I give up the regret over taking the Eddie Bauer management position and letting my dream go.
I give up and acknowledge that I failed to open WeatherVane Creamery.
I take responsibility for allowing the investor terms to be relatively vague and for the lack of communication on my part in making things clear at the time of investment. If there is a next time, things will be laid out very clearly and I will go over every detail with my investors. I will not take their money until I am clear that they are clear on the terms of the loan and repayment.
I take responsibility for letting myself go. Somewhere between last year and now I have gained nearly 30 lbs. I have pretty much stopped wearing makeup and when I do, I apply it while driving. I stopped boxing and running. I don’t even keep my nails up. Because of the weight gain and my own stubbornness, I have refused to buy fitting clothes which has resulted in a very limited wardrobe and, very possibly, some inappropriate choices for different occasions. I am disgusted at myself. This can also go into the Giving Up category. I give up hating myself and what has happened to my body. I am taking control back.
I acknowledge that I was an inconsistent communicator on social media and with WeatherVane Creamery’s enewsletter. I also had been inconsistent with communicating with my friends and loved ones.
I also acknowledge that I had many successes that I didn’t celebrate. I may have shared them as marketing sound bites, but I never allowed myself to own and celebrate the successes. To me, there is no such thing as success if it comes short of the end goal which in this case was opening a store. The moment after I accomplish something my brain says “NEXT!” There is no reveling or celebration. And I wish I could put this entire paragraph in past tense but the truth is, I haven’t been able to get past this one. It is something deeply ingrained in who I am. I am aware of it and I am also aware of the fact that this contributed greatly to my burn out and exhaustion.